Selfish Acts
by MagicalMemories
Summary: It's that one thing you can say you are pretty sure about.It's that one thing you don't intend on talking about to that one person.It's that one thing Jacob got wrong. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and never will. All recognizable characters (Jacob, Bella, Edward.) are property of the author of the Twilight Saga. No copyright infringement intended.**

_Summary: It's that one thing that you are pretty sure about. It's that one thing that you hope not to be turned down about. It's that one thing that you do not intend to talk about with that one person. It's the one thing that Jacob could look up at with happiness. But it's that one thing that he got messed up. Though with Bella many things get messed up. And this was once the greatest thing that Jacob had and loved... It's like it went on crack._

"Bells', why would you rather be with him and not me?" Jacob Black questioned the girl who stood before him. He had thought of them in this position so many times except when he thought of those times he pictured her proclaiming for love for him.

Bella stared up at the tall, muscled boy with tear filled eyes. "Because I love Edward, Jake."

"Please don't nickname me. Just don't even use my name in that sentence if it's about him ever again." Jacob had been stung many times with Bella's cold shoulder to his proclaims of feelings for her but he had kept on pushing, hoping to crack something inside of her that held the real Bella prisoner. By now he was thinking that maybe she was like a vampire only on the inside. That or her beloved Edward Cullen had some hidden power which he used to totally hypnotize people with.

"Why is it so hard for you to face the truth, to open your eyes and see that I am in love with him?" Bella emphasized 'in love' as if that would make her friend realize that she wouldn't swap Edward for him. She knew that she was hurting a few people but this was a situation where she could pick Edward or everyone else. And she wanted Edward like she had never wanted anything else in her entire life.

"That's just it. You didn't have any choice in this like a normal person does!"

"Am I abnormal?" She asked quietly, trying to keep her tears still behind the barrier.

"More abnormal than me. And if you seal your future, if you stay with him, you will never be able to do normal things again. You wont be able to return to your normal life."

"I wont miss all those mundane things if it means I can be with Edward fully. My life was quite boring before, anyway." She hardened herself so that if the boy before her hurtled any more harsh words at her she'd be able to protect herself.

"You are also throwing away all the friendships and relationships you have now." Now Jacob was just trying to catch loose strings to pull at

"I know." Bella shrugged. She had thought this over many times to know that it was what she wanted.

"So you don't even care about our friendship?"

Without even thinking of what was going to come out of her mouth she said that first thing that popped into her mind. "No." It was said in a monotonous voice, making her sound cold and heartless.

Jacob's eyes widened. He hadn't expected that answer from her because a)she seemed like a nice person and b)she had never given him that answer before. "Excuse me? Well, now I know that you're actually a good liar."

Bella's eyes widened just like Jacob's, wondering why she got such an indirect accusation. "What? Oh! Jake, I'm so sorry!"

"Yeah, right. I know what your words mean." Before Bella could respond to the growl that escaped Jacob's mouth he turned around and began to walk away. This time he didn't even care if she followed him or not. This was not one of those times that he yearned for her to follow him because she was so sorry. He was on the verge of thinking that maybe he had finally gotten over his stupid little crush on Bella Swan -soon to be Cullen.

"Jake, wait!" He heard Bella's distressed voice yelling after him.

"I recall that you said you're perfectly happy with your soon to be husband and that I shouldn't be in your life? Isn't that what you said?" Jacob yelled back, continuing to walk briskly away from the coast line they had stood near.

"I need you, Jake!" Tears spilled down her face. She couldn't have admitted it unless it was a distressing call, she had promised herself so.

"But you asked me to leave your life for ever."

"I didn't mean it! I can't go on like this."

Jacob sighed angrily and swung around, making Bella -who was surprisingly fast- bump into his chest. "Bella, you can't be married to some perfect fantasy guy and be best friends with the guy who has always liked you. That's just wrong and soon enough into the happy marriage we'll be pushing you to make some choice again. I see that it's that hard for you so I'm just going to be the bigger man and throw all this away. You're right, if I really love you then I should let you go."

"I-I can't! Jacob please don't!"

"You need to stop being so dependant on people near you. I remember what you once recalled me as; your sunshine. I wonder what that bloodsucker is?"

"He's not you."

"Very well put, captain obvious!" He turned back around and walked on. Bella followed suit, walking just behind the tall boy.

"Why can't you be my best friend?"

"Because despite the fact that I care about you I also care about my feelings and the big hole that you're tearing inside of me! I can't always stand in the sidelines an watch how you and Edward coo over each other!"

"What if it doesn't go like that?"

"How can it go? Bella, you may understand it better this way; when I person gets their first crush they may never forget that person. It could be a memory held by some object that was present that first time, like some song or something. Your first crush was Edward and mine is you. Do you get it now?"

Bella waited for a while, going over what Jacob had just said. It summed things up perfectly and she had to hand it to him. "I do but what if my feelings for the both of you are the exact same?"

He faltered for a minute. What could that mean? "That means your possibly more messed up than I had originally thought."

Bella winced as she took in the insult like a friend. She deserved and she knew it. "I know that I'm selfish but why can't I have you both?"

"That even more wrong. And I'm pretty sure that fang-tastic Edward would never agree to that." He added just as bitterly as his last sentence.

"What if he does agree?"

"I'm not having bloody threesomes with some leech. I'd rather it be the one person with me." Bella's face heated up. She had been courageous in asking about what her same feelings could mean and if Edward would ever agree to have Jacob in their circle but the threesome bit was a bit too far.

"I'm… just saying that maybe we could all be friends and nothing more? Then none of us are losing out."

"Up until one of us horny boys decides to slash your V card through our register. You know how we get." Bella's blush worsened as she fought the urge to hit Jacob over the head. That wouldn't have done him any harm what so ever.

"But what if we just try to keep calm? I want both of you by my side through this."

"You're still planning on becoming a vamp?"

"Yes." She nodded quickly.

"Well, you see now, that gives your leech a lift up in the scale of friend-to-boyfriend. I rather not hang out with two vamps. One's bad enough."

"But I thought you would stick with me through whatever."

"I said I would fight for you as long as your heart was still beating. You might as well be dead to me now."

"You don't mean that."

"Well, I can be selfish once in a while, too. You are dead to me because you keep choosing Edward any way we look at it. He's not good for you and he can't give you all the things I can. You're practically helping him out in this battle and he's always flaunting it in my face. Do you know what that's like?"

"I'm sorry."

"Are you apologizing for his bitchy-ness or your pure selfishness?"

"Both."

"Nah, you're not even really sorry for it."

"But I am."

"You know what I think? I think that you're just playing us for a bit of drama. You're so sick and tired of your own lame life that you have to do all this. You thrive on it, it seems like that. Now that's just sad. Especially your 'I'm-dead-without-perfect-Edward' feat. It's sickening."

"You don't mean any of that!"

"Don't…start with the water works. It's annoying by this time. Look you have always chosen him over me so why don't you just go and fang bang him already? I'm sure that it'll be a dream come true."

"Jacob!" She scolded him, his back still to her. Tears were running down her face, her nose turning red.

"What? It ain't true? But it is!"

"Please, no!" Bella stopped and fell to her knees. They stung as she noticed that they were on the road now.

"I don't care about you anymore, Bella. Just go off and try to forget about me. Sorry if your threesome plan didn't work out!" And without looking back Jacob kept on walking straight home where he looked through his unused school bag, wondering how fun it would be to finish high school like a normal kid.

He was gonna get it on and find himself some girlfriend who wouldn't be pining after some other nut job.

Ah, it feels good to be free from that grasp. Smiling to himself he walked out into the living room to watch some TV.

I know that Jacob doesn't really curse that much but in a fit of rage I'm sure anyone would curse even that little bit. I hope you liked it!


End file.
